This past almost 2 years have been a defining time in my life. Though I am almost 40, in the years I have lived, I still didn't have it down. Still didn't know where or what I wanted. Though I feel, act, and look in my mid 20's ( which I'm not only quiet proud of, but relieved by as well), I still have the experiences of a 37 year old. The good, bad and ugly of them.
So you see, when I started to write the ABOUT ME section it made me wonder....what do I put here? I'm still trying to figure out who I am myself. How could I possibly explain to the rest of you who I am. Well, hopefully that is what my blog will be for. I can tell you all what I like to do, eat, pass the time away with. Sure. Which I will get to that. But for you who don't really know me (and there are few actually IN my life who do), this will be a much harder task. For you and me as well. Trying to tell you the things I'm just discovering here myself.....
I promise you this will be an interesting ride. I can't promise we'll be happy, fun, excited all the time. But I can promise you it will not be boring.
Now....A little about me:
I am a 37 year old girl. Yes, I said girl. I still feel very young at heart and alive and vibrant. Not that anyone reaching their 40's is ancient. Hell, I have girlfriends who say their 40's are the best time of their lives. And I personally feel I get better with age. The way I feel, the times I have, and the way I look. All like fine wine...lol. Yet, I'm not as refined and sophisticated as wine. I'm silly, sarcastic and rough around the edges. I have tattoos, purple hair, and piercings. Though I can clean up and dress nicely. I have killer stems in a dress ;)
I love action/adv movies, rock and metal, comic books, anime, and video games. I love to draw, paint, read, write and music. I am a medley of a few different types of girl. No one you'll ever know is quiet like me.
I have always said I am pagan/wiccan. And I hold many of the traditions in my heart and still participate in a great many practices. But I find, especially when I'm asking "what is is all about and what is my purpose?", that I am much more metaphysical in my spirituality and beliefs. I meditate often (much more a recent practice), try to see others from their prospective, and am on a mission to have a deeper relationship with my inner and high conciousnes (yes I know...sounds like hippy shit many of my friends will say). I am on a quest to find out who I am, why I am, and what I can do to improve not only my life, but those around and close to me.
With this "soul searching" has come great pain from the past that I have hidden away. Always saying that there wasn't time for me to feel sorry for myself, it happened, it is in the past and there is nothing I can do to change it....so why feel sorry?? But in this action I not only didn't let myself feel sorry, I just didn't deal with it. So I am now facing those demons. It might not be pretty here from time to time. Just sayin'....lol.
If you know me...this should be interesting....hell..if you don't know me it should be a hell of a trip as well.....Put your trays up, seats in the upright position....and enjoy the ride. I know I am ;)
I'll enjoy the ride along with you!
ReplyDeleteI think our demons may be cousins. Let me know if you ever need/want to talk. It's not a matter of feeling sorry for yourself, but realizing what you went through and how it affects who you are and have become. You don't have to be a victim but a survivor. :)
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